1-2003

31|1|2003 5:27 AM

Meditating deeply... wondering... remembering... wishing... trying to hear one's precious voice... No no no!! I have to convince myself that I hear nothing, but the echo of my dreams... it's a fake memory, you know?... it's something grievous... I don't belong to you... I don't want to remember you anymore... I don't wanna pretend that I don't miss you... I don't want you to deceive yourself... Yes I love to go the beach... Yes I think it's the most beautiful place in the whole world... But why does your shadow follow me wherever I go? why does your memory interrupt me whenever I want to be happy & alone? You.. & only you... knows the answer... Allah kareem

[changing the topic]... Hey pals, I'd like to learn Spanish... I'd like to speak this language fluently... you can learn it from here www.studyspanish.com .. I memorized this word (LOCO)... LOCO means Crazy... waayed 3alai

For those whom I hurt with my words without realizing... I'm sorry beyond sorry for what I said... Lo siento mucho... what? Can't u understand? No comprendo? Lo siento mucho Means I'm very sorry... & No comprendo Means I don't understand... ke555 yallah Hasta pronto

27|1|2003 4:25 AM

Read... Not just what you have to read for class or work, but to learn from the wisdom & joys and mistakes of others. No time is ever wasted if you have a book along a companion. Mmm, Actually... I never thought I'd read " The fellowship of the ring " , or " Harry Potter "... I hate scientific fiction... But... " The fellowship of the ring " is different... I'll start reading chapter 2... and I just fell in love with the book.. The prologue of the story is interesting... The author talked about the meaning of Hobbits... and the vague secret about the magical ring!!! actually I can't give u more details about that book... Coz U know.. hehe.. I didn't start reading chapter 2 yet!

Monopoly? yeah! why are you stunned I love that game a lot... I used to play it with my bro.. Owaaa he doesn't play it anymore... So I play with my sister sometimes... but she's boring.. lol.. whenever I play with her I feel like I really want to sleep.. I start yawning & yawning... But @ the end of the game I always win... yallah clap your hands for me... Poor lil sis.. Hey don't get me wrong now.. easy gurl!! I was just kidding... Pals, actually she's so cute & hilarious... But the problem is with me... I have nothing to do... I hate to go to the global village, for it's so crowded... and... and... I don't wanna talk about the Guys + Gurls there.... I don't like to go 2 anywhere in the festival... I hate (layaalee dubai) too... I hate so many things.. Can't u smell the dirty air??? it isn't fresh & pure... YUK.. ok why? ppl are making big mistakes without realizing! that's why we can't smell the fresh air... dust dust dust... yes I know that rain always falls in the west... and they do have fresh air... but hey!!! according to their religion... Dating a gurl is not prohibited... so it's not a sin! so they don't contradict their religion & belief... But look @ the ppl here... They are MUSLIMS by name only... Some of them go the Disco... what a pity! they forgot that Allah is above... others are engrossed in talking behind others backs... what to say!! " God, plz guide us ".... To find true happiness. we MUST be from those who truly love Allah... The most prosperous person is the one whose mission in life is to achieve the love of Allah...

Anyhow, check my Moments section... And tell me your comment in my comment box... I'll take a break for a while ok? I don't want to be an Internet addict... This site drives me nuts... Thanks for those who are (metfyjeen) to read my journal... Mmm.. someone, remember 1 thing... It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice & to know how 2 deal with ppl... Hehehe.. I'm not wise... I just want you to look after yourself... God bless you wherever you are...

23|1|2003 5:25 AM

Back in Belgium in 1997... someone drew those paintings... I still keep them in my files... I still wanna relive those moments again... when we were childs & on our own... that someone used to draw wonderful things... he's so creative (mashallah)... but why did he stop creating those wonderful things!!!!!!! why did he stop drawing? I bet he's engrossed in reading or writing!! naah.. not really! maybe drawing doesn't inspire him like before! maybe he doesn't find the pleasure in drawing that he used to find... maybe... maybe and maybe... But I really lo_ok forward to hearing good news from him soon...

Well, he's fond of reading & writing... he has a very good talent... he's kind... and whenever you need him... you find him sustaining you immediately... You'd like to talk to him.. for he's funny... he can let u laugh laugh & laugh until your stomach hurts... He loves his sister a lot... he thinks rationally... (e7im) he used to deride @ me when I was a child... we used to camp in the (playing) room... actually not any camping!! a scary camping... lool.. yeah... playing in the darkness... screaming and running... it was his idea to bring a small tent... and to hang in it a very scary masks... those mask that have shiny red eyes... we used to love that (possessed house) game.. <= as we used to call it... we had our extreme freedom... I wanna relive those moments.. I want to I want to...

of course we can't play & run in (elfreej) like before... and we can't go to (eldekkan) barefooted!!!! and we can't skate in everywhere... and we don't go to Toys-R-Us anymore... and... +++ we miss going to the farm with our grandfather...it's just a squeal of pain.. u know? we had pleasant times with him... he encouraged us a lot... he loved us a lot... and... Did we deserve his pure love? did we? we all want to see him... we all want to give him a big hug... we all want to kiss him on his head... we all want to ask him for his forgiveness... he forgave me... he told me that in that dream... yes I hugged him in that dream... yes I cried a lot in that dream.. Yes I didn't want 2 let him go in that dream... aaaah..... & yes I was a child in that dream... I hugged him... wallah it was so real.."allah yer7amah"... he was missing in this (3eed)... he was missing in his son's wedding... but he's in a better place... we have to be happy for him... yes we are... But we miss him a lot.. and missing him is something tiring...

this painting was painted in 1998... by the same talented guy... isn't it marvelous? I gave it 10000000000000000000000000 votes lol... what do they call it?? Plastic art?? I think so... concentrate on the painting... can't u see the features of the face??? u can't? mm I bet it... but it looks great... I like green, blue & yellow colors... they are my favorite... actually, i'm yawning... I feel tired... I won't sleeeeeep coz I'll have to wake up again to pray... why do I always stay up @ night???? aaaaah, I used to keep someone's pic in my room... I never passed by it without stopping to look @ it... and yet when she/he was present with me, I scare ever cast my eyes upon it.. & I'm wondering.... If a picture which is but a mute representation of an object can give such a pleasure, what cannot letters inspire? They have souls, they can speak & they have in them all that force which expresses the fire of our passions… my writings for that someone are kept in good hands... DXB gurl, don't throw them away...

Yaaay... cute, right? mmm... shall I excuse myself 2 say GOOD BYE ???? yeah sure... but before leaving.... plz don't talk behind others backs... According to Ali ibn Abu Talib, the very worst thing one can do is make a wrongful accusation against an innocent person... pals, don't forget that remaining silent is, in itself, a good deed... & one who does not control his tongue is evil... Amoony, love ya a lot... I long to see you... I hope you're better now... Shamma, sorry dear... I've been busy lately... DxB Gurl, allah ysaam7ech... & sensitive gurl, what's the matter with you???? your site is dead... add that story in it.. believe me we love to read stories from our friends.... wo yallah bye bye

21|1|2003 Ooh.. It's almost 8:00 AM <= morning! I can't sleep...

what do you do when u r tired and you don't want to sleep? I just sit in silence & engrossed in thoughts... so many questions r rolling through my mind @ this moment... such as: " why r we so inattentive? " " why don't we remember death whenever we make a mistake that angers our God?" " Why some ppl are so envious and not grateful for all Allah's graces on them?" something saddens me a lot... " why some ppl are deceivers? why do they like 2 talk behind your back.. and u haven't been anything, but kind with them?" why? why our love ones seem to be like strangers?".... If you don't have faith in God, you won't know how to answer these questions in a correct way... this life is not so awful as we think! ppl make everything seems to be awful... ppl hate, ppl perpetrate sins, ppl always forget that God is above! We are Muslims, aren't we? God preferred us on the infidel and disbeliever ppl... I wanna ask a question... Pals, do u have lil conversations to God every day? like: "God, I hate school... plz let the day pass peacefully" " God, this chore is too difficult to accomplish, but I'll try 2 accomplish it just 2 please you" " God, no one seems to understand... I'm on my own... I'm so dejected... God plz alter my sadness into happiness" " God I know that I've been disobedient lately.. plz forgive me" etc... don't forget that he listens... & he can hear even the smallest whisper.... He's so near 2 us... Let God be your best friend... you'll live this life happily... and you'll miss him a lot... you'll prepare yourself every day for your final day here on earth... u'll learn how 2 forget and forgive... God loves the humble cry of his servant... When a servant of God calls upon his lord, & his call is pleasing to God, he orders Gabriel not to hasten the fulfillment of his servant's prayer, for he likes to hear the voice of one making supplication to him...

See the big influence! @ first I was so sad because I remembered some ppl who used to stain my reputation and some other harsh stuff.. & then... when I remembered God... A shiny smile was drawn on me... In everything there's a lesson 2 be learned... Remember that remembering God is a constant state of prayer well... Moody Gurl, I'm not furious with u.. You were just kidding, weren't you? I forgot about it dear... You know how I really love you, right? *Mwu7'z* I can sleep now... ZzzZzzz...

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