13|2|2005  12:00 PM  You'll find a lot of Buttt's in this update..

I'm in class, I forgot my wire, but it's okay... a lot of thoughts are on my mind at the moment. plz lemme explode. I might complain.. I might laugh & I might shed tears...... who knows?!!

There's a big hole in my heart that I cannot bear anymore... I tried to escape reality, but of course this is not a helpful remedy.. Because reality will slap me sooner or later to wake me up!

I always leave things INCOMPLETE... This is because I cannot concentrate my thoughts on one thing! :@ for example I try to adjust my files & make my room look more tidy & I start organizing everything, butttt I don't continue those processes because I'm used to leave things INCOMPLETE! Even my exams.. I always get high marks even If I dislike the subject, buttttt I'm used to neglect at least one exam during the semester!! My mood is a disaster, but hey I'm nice and cute and I know maa y5e99a lol

Funny how we spend years to change ourselves &  our weak spots & yet.. we're still the same, buttttttt strange how some people can influence us & change our entire life with the wonderful way they act and treat others... We usually don't notice that they're really changing our way of thinking unless they leave us or pass away... why is that? is it because we're stupid? :p sometimes a shock can change us.. sometimes our own mistakes change us or our own dreams..

Friends..... Oh don't remind me please!! I misss my best friends... I miss them & I don't have enough time to hang out with them.. They also don't have time to waste... This world becomes so different & lovely when you sit with your friend & talk about anything.. {Talk about what displeases you and what makes you feel happy, talk about your dreams & goals... your mistakes.. your fears..}

A smile from a friend can ease the pain away & let you feel so relieved.. A pat on your shoulder from a dear friend makes you forget the sorrowful time you've been going through... Friends.. I love them.. I miss them..=) they're really somethinggggggg!!

To be honest, I'm the one who has been away for a long time.... :'(

Amoony, Get will sooooooooon... I'll count the days till we meet again...

What's more important? F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P

& what will last the longest? again F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P

Grandpa, I think I shall stop typing here... words will never be enough to describe the pain... I know I'm wrong okay.. I know I've made mistakes... I know you hate me now, but do you have any idea of how I miss you these days?? How come you didn't put your eyes in mine and you didn't allow me to hug you?! How I wish I had chosen to give up my life for you.. :( How come you showed hatred instead of love?? your punishment is tough... your punishment is killing me... I didn't forget you... you're always in my heart... I never intended to infuriate you... I'll never forgive myselfffffffffffff... :') I love you more than you could ever imagine... I can leave everyone just to keep in contact with you... I know how you really care... even if you're there, buttt please be more gentle & forgive your sensitive granddaughter.. I promise I won't repeat it.. God knows it...

One thing is for certain.. I miss you I miss you I miss you.

"If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind.. If only you could heal my heart just one more time.."

Oh how I miss you since you've been gone.. my heart in pieces.. my days so long.. I'm missing you today as all the days past, the feeling we shared will forever last..

Everywhere I turn and see, memories of what once was you and me, and tears fall as my nights grow deep, my aching for you keep me from my sleep,

Each night I look into the sky.. the stars I see as they shine, I imagine a connection goes from my heart to yours, & wonder exactly what was the cause.

I miss you

By anonymous...

I'll get myself coffee.. I need mocca now.. I need to breathe the fresh air outside.. I really need someone to talk with!

;)

Microsoft office Visio is interestinggggg, we took a brief introduction about it today!

My sis got me this hand bag from Spinneyes.. lol I think it's good for makeup.......

wish me good luck

Bye

12|2|2005  2:48 PM  @ uni

Currently doing: listening to our professor.. :) He's fannaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan... :p but I do have an OUCHY headache right now & I cannot concentrate, but I can understand what he's saying.. It's like someone squeeeeezing my head lol..

I neeeeeed mocca, Evian didn't play its magical process yet!

Tbon lbanation?

I'm extremely busy... NOT free anymore.. can you believe it? :p this semester will take most of my precious TIME :( & many surprises are ON THEIR WAY... I have to be prepared! :p

Anyways, tell me what are the not-impossible things that can be achieved?

~I wanna be in Paris right now!

~I wanna speak Spanish fluently

~I wanna start memorizing soorat Yusuf

~I wanna learn more about VBULLETIN :@ :@ I wanna update the forum to the new version!!

~I wanna learn Flash..

~I wanna buy extra lenses for Canon.

~I wanna learn more about health and nutrition (lol yesterday I ate chips and drank pipsi)

~I wanna finish reading the da vinci code

~I wanna have my dinner @ Caesar tonight.

The impossible thingssssssssss

~I wanna turn back time...

~I wanna erase some mistakes..

~I wanna sleeeeeeeeeeeep & it's impossible

what about you?

11|2|2005  8:48 PM  It's Friday!!

Everyone is falling asleep.. I'm the only monster in this house.. 

yesterday this naughty gurl poured down allllll the bubble soup on the floor & my lil bro (her Fiancé) kept on screaming and crying... She rushed to me frightened & sad.. :p

"I know I shouldn't have displeased him, but will he ever forgive moi?"

"Oh God.. pweeze help moi"

{Avoiding eye contact}

"don't look at me"

"why is everything so dark?"

"You'd better get me 7alawaaaaaaaa"

Pals, I'm working on my wallpapers section check it out =)

10|2|2005  12:20 PM  Insomnia

Hiya,

Why do I always schedule MY TIME & organize it accurately & then I accomplish nothing or lemme say accomplish few things ONLY? it seems so funny! I write down the things which I need to do & where I have to go.. I promise myself to do this and that... I plan.. I think & think & squeeze my mind till I bring myself a headache... & I don't take PANADOL at all.. I abandoned such poisons...

Believe that my determination and intention are always strong & high, buttttttttt all of a sudden I tend to find something more enjoyable than priorities & the boring chores...

Later on... I regret... especially at night when I feel sleepy & tired my mind keeps reminding me of the importance of this theory {FIRST-THINGS-FIRST}..

It's a normal thing, buttttttttttttt I don't think it's ordinary when you have a brain which is similar to mine.. I cannot rest... My brain keeps thinking & working even when I'm snoring.. That's why I feeeeeeel exhausted when I wake up..

Back in grade 12, On the night before my final test, I remember that I couldn't resist sleeping at 11:00 PM, but unfortunately my mind kept on solving physics problems alllllllllllllllll night long!!!! serious problems & toooo long! my eyes were shut.. I was sleeping, wasn't I?

Actually I was struggling.. :( when I woke up I felt I didn't sleep at alllllllllllll... I suffer from insomnia because of this stupid thing which is settled in my head..

This insomnia thingie can become chronic, lasting for months or even years.. It's tiringggggggggggggg!! Don't ask me to avoid stress & negative thinking.. I tried and tried... I couldn't control it.. so I have to look for an alternative solution..

Actually, I found a solution, but I didn't get itttttttt yet...

this is Valerian

Have you ever heard of "Valerian" herb? I think it's gonna be magical for moi.. "Melatonin" sounds good as well, but make sure to buy the synthetic one and not the natural....

Allaaaaaaaaah I know where to find this herbbbbbbb & it can be found as pilllllls!! =)

CAUTION: ~If taken during the day, valerian may cause drowsiness =)

~If you are pregnant or breastfeeding, do not use Valerian.

Of course ask your doctor before taking any supplement.

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