25th|Feb|2006 8:46 PM Time passes... Love remains..

Message to you.. my friend. (it was so nice to see you) :')

The waterfall of LOVE...

I never expected that things would turn out this way... If I could I would pause the tape of the previous years to determine & control the yearning we both felt for some people... That special kind of yearning drove us C.R.A.Z.Y & numb that we no longer felt what was happening around... We knew one thing for sure, that's we were both enamored... Then came the year of REAL hardships... In one year we've all been through hell... The piercing arrows of shocks killed our souls & left our bodies COLD, INATTENTIVE, AND exhausted - with no energy to continue living excitedly... And there wasn't a tranquilizer for the sleepless nights  nor a sedative for the heartache... And unfortunately, we couldn't roam the mountains, wander through deserts, or sing in mournful tones to ourselves like what Majnun used to do... Instead, we sealed our lips & stayed broken by grief & agony, wearing a fake smile to conceal the real fear & sadness.... & we suffered....

Although you could manage to keep the river of tears hidden, I saw the glitter of it right from the corner of your eyes. Despite all of what you said regarding preferring to live alone, deep down inside of my heart I knew you longed for the one who would walk along by your side for the rest of your life... & I know it's difficult and hard for you to picture yourself living all ALONE now.. I know life has lost its taste... I just wanna assure you that your pain has become my pain and as a friend and a lifelong sis, I won't ever leave you *A PROMISE*... I know it isn't enough, but I hope it'll help you a little bit.. It's because I couldn't help you then.. Instead, :( I made the matter even worse off than it used to beeeeee :( I am so sorry for being away & STUPID... I couldn't bear the truth myself... & I thought being away is a solution to cure you better.... Please forgive my stupidity.....

"For God's sake, who can cure me of this sickness? I am an exile, an orphan, an outcast. Where's my home?  where are my friends? my family? I'm cut off from them completely & they have no road to me, either. & I am separated from the one I love. My name is dirt & my reputation is ruined, like a crystal goblet smashed upon the rock of fate. My world was once filled with music of happiness; now all that I hear is the solemn drumbeat of separation.......

My love, my dearest heart! I am your slave, your victim: I am the hunter captured by the game! my soul cannot help but follow the mistress who owns it. If she says, "Drink the wine of love & become intoxicated!", then I must obey, if she says, "Become mad with desire!", who am I to argue? There's no way that a madman such as Majnun can be tamed, so don't try. What hope can there be for a heart as crushed as mine? My only hope is that the earth will open up and swallow me whole, or that a lightning bolt will flash through the heavens & strike me dead! is there no one who will hand me over to the angel of death? Is there no one who will save me from myself, & thus save the rest of the world from my madness? For I am truly mad; I am a misfit, lunatic, a demon in human guise! I am an embarrassment to my family & a thorn in the flesh of my tribe: the very mention of my name causes all who know me to hang their heads in shame. Anyone may shed my blood: I declare it lawful for them. For I am an outlaw, & whoever kills me will not be guilty of murder.

So Goodbye, dear friends, for I must depart. May God bless & keep you, & may you forgive me. There's nothing you can do for me now: the goblet has fallen from my hands & the wine is spilled. Of my happiness, & my sanity, only the razor-sharp shards are left, see how they cut into me & through me....

I do not expect you to understand what I say, for you have no idea how I suffer. So leave me, let me go. & do not try to find me, for your search will be in vain. How will you find me when I'm lost, even to myself? Go now, for I cannot bear your torture & oppression any longer. Leave me alone with my grief. There's no need to escort me out of the town, for I shall go of my own accord. Farewell!" Said he

"I have fallen. I have fallen & I do not know what to do. Come, dearest heart, & take my hand. Reach out & touch me, for I can bear this loneliness no longer. I am yours, so come & take me: I am more use to you alive than dead. Be kind & give me some sign; send some message to revive my soul. Why don't you come? Why have they imprisoned you when it is I, the madman, who should be in chains? Come & enslave me, my love! Do something, for the love of God! To live like this is worse than death: come & end this torture now! Things cannot remain as they are; it is not right that you should sit there & do nothing. Have you no pity? No, it would seem that you do not. After all, those who are in comfort have no feeling for those who are in misery. What do the rich know about poverty? What does the full stomach care about those who starve? We are both human beings: does our common humanity mean nothing to you? Are you content to blossom and bloom while I wither and die?

You have the power to bring peace to my soul, yet you withhold it. What have I done to deserve this? Why, not content with stealing my heart, do you rob me of my sanity? Apart from the fact that I love you, what sin have I committed that I should be treated in this way?

I'm not asking for much: even one night... One night out of a thousand nights... will do. Apart from the love I feel for you, I have nothing: everything else I have abandoned, gambled away & lost.

Please, I beg you, do not reject me. If you are angry with me, extinguish your wrath with my tears. Dearest heart, you are the new moon and I am a star that has fallen to earth out of longing for you. I am alone and friendless: My only companion is my shadow, and even with him I dare not speak the truth about my love for you, lest he become jealous and try to take you from me. What can I do? Can I hope? A man dying of thirst dreams of cool, clear streams, but when he wakes there's only sand. But what does it all matter? Whatever happens to me, nothing can destroy the love I feel for you in my heart. It is indeed a mystery, a riddle, a lock without a key, a book that cannot be opened, a code that no one can crack. Love for you is part of me: it entered my veins along with the milk from my mother's breast, & it will leave me only when my soul departs my body. Of that I am certain." Said he

.........................................

Final whisper: I wonder..... How has such a pure powerful love, which is wide enough for the whole world to flourish  - been LOCKED INSIDE 1 person for so so so so longgggggggggggg... & no one noticed it...

My dear Friend.. I ask you for nothing now but to be more open to me... & I will be considerate & more than happy & relieved to listen. Just keep the faith strong in you & you'll see the light illuminating your days once more inshallah

P.s you're the most gentle person I've ever known. & you've no idea how much you're special to me.

Contact: miracle@miracle-girl.com

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