3rd|March|2006 9:20 PM The road to anywhere is really a life to no where...

Well.. I've just returned back from the desert..

Do you want some? my stomach is full of carbohydrates.. I need to walk for 1 hour to burn them all :p

While I was there I thought of this:

"Teenagehood is only 7 years, such a short span of rope, but those seven affect the remaining sixty-one, for good, or bad, in such a powerful way" by Sean Covey

Can't believe I am still a teen :') .. My teenagehood years were so complicated... They lacked the simplicity of living & I don't blame anyone but MY STUBBORN-SELF... & yeah those years are still affecting and shaping my personality.. For instance, I've been such a wimp for so so long, worrying and getting easily frightened by simple things. For example, I was afraid of a needle & being injected, but I could overcome that kind of fear when I convinced myself that the mental pain I was suffering from was much more painful than a simple needle... in fact, LOVE was enabling me to choose between being brave and coward.  also, I couldn't face my destiny & turn to achieve goals.. Instead, I let myself move with the flow until I got really depressed.. I wanted to work for my targets, but I gave up easily... I gave up because I wasn't healthy at that time :'( I've been engrossed in reading books without paying attention to anyone <= that was the consequence of a tragedy that happened to me long time ago.. Now, I can't change quickly...... It needs a lot of time and patience.. & I am so reckless and can't linger anymore.

Ahhhhhhhhhhs & ahoooooos... I have a big project to work on.. I think of it day and night, but I lost  the motive to do it.... & my mind is full of DANGEROUS PLANS

& I am a failure when it comes to TIME-MANAGEMENT :p

& I am thinking of stopping my complaints about THE PRISON for a week.. ONE LAST WEEK will take important decisions in my life.........

Finally, I know that the road to anywhere is really a life to no where.. In fact, I often imagine myself driving in an empty road to NO WHERE exactly like a solitary bird in a flight to no where, but the idea itself is not meaningful... I don't know why even in my reality I always think of hiding and running away when I am too stressed or too sad...

ONE MORE THING.. I don't know why I get upset and nervous when I hear this word: "Marriage"

Advising herself:

Girl  don't be such a fool, take it easy lol.. you're making too much of a big deal out of nothing.. Take a sip of green tea with mint & relax... You're not alone.. God is with you.. All the doors closed for a purpose... It's because you need to seek help from HIM.. Don't you feel it? The broken heart will be mended as time passes by... BUT hey, God doesn't like the lazy ones! Work hard + count on Him = effective results. You can't just count on him without proving that you deserve His help...

& you believe that you won't stay in this mold for so long, yeah? so don't let yourself to be defeated easily.. wage a war inside your head and fight till you WIN.

P.S always remember that the Qur'an is a powerful book of getting energy from ;)

Now she's relieved :)

Things to be done:

1) Prepare your bag and clothes for tomorrow.

2) Exercise & water..

3) sleep ZzZzZz avoid chit chatting with your family, otherwise you won't be able to sleep early, hon. :p

If I die tonight,
I'd go with no regrets,
If it's in your arms,
I know that I was blessed,
And if your eyes,
are the last thing that I see,
Then I know the beauty heaven holds for me,

But if I make it through,
If I live to see the day,
If I'm with you,
I'll know just what to say,
the truth be told,
Girl, you take my breath away,
every minute, every hour, every day,

Cause every moment,
we share together,
is even better,
than the moment before,
If every day was,
as good as today was,
then I can't wait until tomorrow comes