22|4|2004  1:42 PM

How many times do we set goals when we are in the mood but then later find we don't have the strength to follow through? why does this happen? It's confusing!!! I think It's because we haven't counted the cost of reaching those goals.

Let's say you set a goal to get  better grades in school this year <- that's what I usually do. Great. But now, before you begin, count the cost. For example, what will it require? For instance, you'll have to spend more time doing maaaaaaath & grammar and less time hanging out with your friends which is kinda unsatisfying hmmm you'll have to stay up late some nights

Finding time for schoolwork might mean giving up watching TV or reading your favorite magazine, but I'm not like that :p I enjoy reading and watching TV during exams periods..

Now, having counted the cost, consider the benefits. What could good grades bring you?? Allaaaaaaaah a feeling of accomplishment?? a scholarship to college? A good job??  Now ask yourself, "Am I willing to make the sacrifice?"

yeeeeeeeeees yes yes yes yes I aaaaaaaaaaaaaam.

.........

Hmmmmmmm, sorry for being so lazy.. I should've been done with my other sections mn zmaan. Inshallah I'll accomplish them gradually, bass plz not now :D

OoH before I go..

I highly admire Dhabyani's site. check it out. you're gonna love it :D he's a talented guy.

of course u don't wanna miss Elmasi's world, do u? mashallah he's one of the best!

Hamdany is amazing :) his graphics will move your emotions and will evoke some memories... I really adore his work... Happy birthday.. sorry for being so late, but you've gotta know that tears rolled down my cheeks when I accessed your first page... That melody reminded me of my earliest days when I used to be surrounded by my whole family. His world is different and unique... His graphics are exclusively designed mashallah... I cannot put him in words... Simple a delicate person who let creativity spread in his soul... I'm saving each graphic that he made.

At last I'm gonna leave you with SHMILY's words about hurt...

DON'T send me sms's, emails or voice messages.. I'll be on an isolated island.

Chaw Chaw

19|4|2004  4:01 PM  DON'T read! you won't understand.

This is for those who know me pretty well...

I've changed a lot... what had happened left me in a state of shock... I never thought it would affect my personality & the way I treat people. I've become careless and lazy @ heart... I've become high-strung and grumpy... every simple thing that happens 2 me evokes the memories that I tried very hard to erase... That's why I avoid reading poems and writing down my emotions on papers. It's like living thirsty for more than 4 years tasting bitterness whenever you feel like suffocating from the hot atmosphere...

I feel exactly like a stranger... I hide my feelings from my friends.. I don't hang out with them as before. I feel that I don't belong to this place anymore. I hurt a lot of those who don't deserve from me other than love & respect. I feel guilty.

I've been shedding tears for so long... the hardest time I went through was when I was sick and they weren't showing any concern.. that was the hardest. what if I died?!

After few months I might be gone.. I'm not running away from reality. I believe that I'll hear bad tidings whenever I go. It's just that nothing could compensate what I had lost and I'll remain frightened as long as I'm staying here... I c my friend living blind from the truth (exactly as I used to live) and she doesn't listen... I can't endure standing by spectating the tragic end...

sorry to those whom I hurt. I didn't mean it... Don't worry I'm gonna keep this journal in order to let u view the pics and read my inner thoughts.

15|4|2004  10:10 PM MIRACLE IS SICK

I can't believe I have to stay at home for almost 2 weeks =( and besides, I won't be able to access the net frequently. I feel soooooooooooooo bad.. I cannot sleep... I cannot study.....  I cannot talk.. y3awwerrrrrrrrr waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa2 :(

Sorry Amoony... I couldn't see you, but it meant a lot to me. thx anyway.

I snapped this shot and I didn't play with it in photoshop. Perhaps it looks like a painting...

7|4|2004  10:49 AM

I can't believe they considered the Shot which I snapped as one of the TOP SHOTS. Thanks uaeeye 4 making up my day. The new layout is wonderful =)

...........

Imagine an eighty-foot rope stretched out be4 u. Each foot represents one year of your life. Teenagehood is only seven years, such a short span of rope, but those seven affect the remaining sixty one for good or bad, in such a powerful way.

lovely wrood..

Thanks to the one who sent them for me =)

2|4|2004  12:6 AM

More Baby Steps

1. At the next party, don't just sit against the wall and wait for excitement to find you, you find it. Walk up and introduce yourself to someone new.

2. The next time you receive a grade that you think it's unfair, don't blow it off or cry about it, make an appointment with the teacher to discuss it and then see what you can learn.

3. If you get in a fight with a parent or a friend, be the first to APOLOGIZE.

I liked those baby steps a lot =)

I went to the clinic today =) I was injected and for the first time in my life I wasn't frightened by the needle lol.

I feeeeeeeeeeel so drowsy!! I couldn't take some rest at all. Plus, I haven't seen shamma for a long time. :@ I don't wanna complain about it because I don't wanna explode!

Pharmachy or Apoteke.

Cerelaaaaac in da pharmacy :D

...then I returned back home where I had to do my project..

.....

I'd better sleeeeeeeeeeeeep!!