Miracle World.. ~ Never ever.. BORING world =)

28th|April|2006 10:50 AM Missing dad and flee the most

Of all the people whom I miss so much, I miss dad and flee the most... Dad is in Switzerland and Flee is in Italy.. and I am weeping for my luck , because I can't be absent not even for a single day.. This is because I've exceeded the 10%! sillyyyy.. extremely silly right?

Yesterday I was sitting with my family *dad's side* and the feeling of missing dad and flee was bringing tears into my eyes :P (dad's silence and flee's noise)... Why don't we feel how much we love them unless they go far? I just wanna say that Life is so tasteless without them.

To the one who has just crossed my mind right now... I'm not sure whether or not you still care.. Just wanted to say I miss you sooo much. I hope you're fine... These words are dedicated to you..

{I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God were together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time}

At night when I curl up in my comfy bed, I start thinking so much of how things are happening so quickly!! Sometimes it's exciting.. most of the time it's scaaaaarrrry :p

anyway,

I HAVE A PROJECT which I must hand in TOMORROW at 7 AM.. I worked on it, but It's awful and I didn't finish with it yet... Also, the weather is extremely baddd.. I wonder how I'll be able to endure it this summer..

SORRY (MISS WARDI AND FOOF) I COULDN'T attend both weddings yesterday... I HAD to work on my project and attend my family's banquet

18th|April|2006 8:00 PM

The more I think about how I am feeling about a specific issue that I don't wanna mention here, the more I feel like I am wandering inside and outside a MAZE!! Such issue brings me fears, worries, confusion, doubts, and eventually SADNESS... It brings me the feeling of (YALLAH I wanna leave this life now).. I don't know whether or not that such phase is caused by a devilish-insinuation, but I am pretty sure that there's something not quite right happening inside of me... Thank God I am Muslim, otherwise I would commit suicide!

I don't relax and listen to the inner-voice which has been calling out my name for ages... If I just calm down myself and contemplate for few hours, I'll definitely know why I am acting so weird... I believe that I am this kind of person who wears her heart on her sleeves.. I am always honest with people, but am I honest with myself? Absolutely NOT.

LOL, I've been talking so much lately... MOSTLY complaining about trivial things such as (UNI).. While complaining, I know that the problem isn't within the uni itself. I know why I complain.. I know why I talk so much.. I think that the pain will be eased this way, but I actually deceive myself even more...

YOU KNOW WHAT, in order for you to be healthy and happy in this sick life, you HAVE to remember GOD with every step you take.. EVERY STEP.. you have to remember HIM with being certain that He's the only one who understands you completely and He's the most merciful one who can ease the pain away.....................................

Anyway,

Message to (((R)))) <= THE ARTIST ;)

مادري اذا بتقدرين تفهمين الطلاسم أو لا

Dear, I am sooooooooooooooooo sorry I've been talking about many issues lately.. some of them sounded totally odd to you! I didn't want to BRAINWASH you.... I know you're different... Let me be more honest here... Remember when I used to tell you that your eyes reflect your sadness?! I meant it then.. AND I MEAN IT NOW for some reason... Now I feel I decoded some of your secretive mysteries :p anyway, you don't need to uncover your face.. I can still see the brilliance shining from underneath.... Lately, I've been sharing with you some of my tiny pieces which FORM THE REAL ME... It gave me the feeling of comfort to do so, but it made you PUZZLED about some issues... Ma3alaih, next time I'll be more CLEAR and you'll understand me more. :p

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