I stayed up all night long.. I was
trying to fight against my insomnia, but there was no use trying... I
don't know why sometimes we cannot sleeeeeeep even though we feel
sleepy...
Yesterday I went to a nearby place in OMAN. It's been around 15 years
since the last time I visited it... I got the chance to revive the
moments of childhood... The people I met there and the place brought
me scarce & palpable things of MY PAST... & future =)
Things that were funny:
1)
There was this dear lady who greeted me
with:
"عاش من
شافج"
& my reply was
"مممممممم
عاشت الأسامي"
LOL.. again and stuttered I said:
"عاش
من شافج"
I don't know how I forgot to say
عاشت
أيامج
I had fast palpitation!
...............................................
2)
The people there showed me a photo album
of some old pictures of their family... I saw a picture of a boy who
seemed so familiar to me.. Immediately I said: "This
is the one I used to hate, maybe he was the one who used to
interrupt us when we wanted to play Nintendo back when I was a child"!
What I said was told to the guy... & he
said:
"كذّااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااابة
ما أنا"
LoooL!
.............................................
To my surprise they showed me a pic of
Miwicle when she was 15 years younger!!!!!! As I was looking
through the pix, I remembered that time so well.. I was carrying my
colors and papers to paint... I was happy to find people who loved
painting and drawing at their house...
Could it be really 15 years?!!!!!!!!!!!
how come I haven't been visiting them for 15 years?!!
Want some?
When I was in the car going back home, a
lonely tear fell.. As usual, whenever I see people of the past,
I remember my grandfather.. He's always missed... I compared myself to
him... WHAT A USELESS PERSON I WAS & still am! The apathy I have was
once CARE.. Seems like a care that has died............ I used
to love them all... A love that did not go out of fashion! what
happened to me? why am I always away from others? & why do I talk toooo much. yet I do not reveal the "secret" I would like to reveal? I
talk uselessly..... I talk & talk & talk... Is it because I know if I
remain silent, the pain I have will be obviously shown?
Anyway, I would love to thank Kathy
for the wonderful hospitality =) Her words left me speeeeeeechless...
"كانت
ساعات رائعة تلك التي قضيناها معا..
ولكن
هكذا هي الأوقات الجميلة.. لا ننتظر نهايتها ولكنها تمضي سريعا
ومع ذلك
تبعث الأمل بلقاء قريب إن شاء الله
وأخيرا
وليس آخرا دعيني أقول
شكرا
لأنك مددت جسر التواصل
وشكرا
لأنك نقشت عليه حروف الحب والمودة
سلامي
للأهل وإلى اللقاء"
Actually I am the one who has to thank you so much =)
You're a sweeet sister... I don't know how I kept myself away for so
long!
I would also like to thank COUSIN (K)
for her sweet words that could console me a lil bit.. It was so nice
of her to sustain me while I was in the carro:
"Don't do this to yourself.. Think
that you're an adventure journey and it will end one day soon after
that you will start another one with a weapon in your hand and the
moment you hear a thanks from a human who came looking for your help
the whole world won't be enough to take in your happiness... I have
all the trust in you.. believe me.."
24th|April|2007
6:09 PM
A couple of days ago he was standing beside my chemistry
teacher... Suddenly he turned to see me and said: "Look at her.. How
sweet she seems... Like an angel!"
then I said: "Oh thank you"
Then he said: "No seriously I do not
talk to anyone.. the people I talk to are the people I truly love"
Then I said in Arabic.. "Mashallah
wydeen elli t7bhm" :p I was teasing him because he likes talking to
everyone... So I meant to say that I knew I wasn't so special ya3ne..
In class I gave him my report....
he started reading it
and all of a sudden he burst out
laughing
:P then I realized he was laughing at
what I wrote in the end of the report... {toota toota 5el9at el7adoota}..
<= That was the phrase that I concluded my report with...
......................
Here are some mobile shots I've snapped yesterday when
I spent time working on {Health and Social Policy in the UAE} at the
public library... =) The librarian seemed so friendly.. I recommended
the novel
{رواية
إصلاح لعزيزة الأبراشي}
It is available in KSA & Egypt. I have
read it once and loved it so much.. I asked the librarian to get
the novel and keep it in the library for the public use.
Anyway, today at uni, I submitted my
paper.. Now I do not have to worry
about it...
Today Dr Polypeptide was talking about
Reality Vs Fantasy... He was telling me "If you wanna live in
fantasy, you will suffer, my friend" & I loved the way he was
talking about his daughter ^_^ He said: "A son is a son until he
gets a wife, a daughter is a daughter all her life"..
^_^ my classmate was so passionate about this book
today...
I love Qais's poems tOo..
الفؤاد الغريب
فؤادي
بين أضلاعي غريب
ينادي من
يحب فلا يجيب
أحاط به
البلاء فكل يوم
تقارعه
الصبابة والنحيب
لقد جلب
البلاء علي قلبي
فقلبي مذ
علمت له جلوب
فإن تكن
القلوب كمثل قلبي
فلا كانت
إذاً تلك القلوب
22nd|April|2007
12:53 AM IT IS FUNNY.
My new Tweeeety I wuv ya ^_^
I find it very funny... My bro always
tells me that I have
"عناد في
غير موضعه"
But I don't truly believe him. Now I can
see that whenever I promise myself to do something, I cannot keep the
promise. for instance, during this month I find myself very stressed
and I know I have a lot of things to do. I promised myself not to
waste so much time practicing my hobbies such as reading, writing,
blogging &
watching some cartoon series.. However, I failed to keep the promise.
Instead,
1) I update my blog even more than
before!! I am not supposed to update it now!! I have an exam to study
for.. + I do have a report to finish about CHOLESTEROL and SEX
HORMONES.. I do have to write it from the aspect of BIOCHEMISTRY. :'(
It is impossible for me to finish it today.. I do have to start
working on a whole project about {POLICY on drugs and smoking in the
UAE}.. It's due the 24th.. I haven't even started collecting the data
yet. Mmm By the way.. My Biochemistry teacher said the the highest
mark in class would be B- and my math teacher said that at least 4
girls would fail the course. :S
2) I gather with my family as soon as I
feel I wanna see them.
3) I shop a lot...
4) When I sleep, I do not wish to wake
up, because I do not wanna face reality and do my uni work!
5) I eat a lot <= This is a sign that I
am not OK! I feel I am depressed :P
أكثر
الناس تعاسة، كثير الآمال قليل الأفعال، عظيم الأماني حقير الأعمال، قوي
التفكير ضعيف الإرادة.
مابا اكون منهم
6) And oh yeah.. I TALK A LOT!! I always
regret it once I start talking... but, today I came across lovely words by
Nawal Sibai.. her words pleased me ^_^
كنت
أتمنى أن أكون من الذين يطول صمتهم، ويستطيعون السيطرة على ألسنتهم، وأرى
في أصحاب الألسنة المحبوسة أبطالا جبابرة، حتى قيض الله لي قوما، يطيلون
الصمت ويظهرون لك الابتسام، فإذا ما انقلبوا عنك سلقوك بألسنتهم، وقطعوك
بانتقاداتهم، وأكلوا لحمك... فإذا عادوا إليك ونطقوا بالقليل من الكلام
كان سماً زعافاً مضافاً إليه بغضاً حارقاً، مغلفاً بحمق المنتمين إلى
العلم كذباً، ودناءة المنتمين إلى الثقافة زورا.
فسبحان
مغير الأحوال.. لقد أصبحت وما من شيء عندي أبغض من الصامتين!!
رحم الله
امرءاً كثير الكلام، منكسرا بباب الله، يسأله أن يكف لسانه، إذا تحدث
صدق، وإذا سئل أفاض في الشروح، وإذا أتاه زائر ما شعر في بيته بأنه قطعة
ثقيلة ينتظر صاحب البيت خروجها من بيته لحفاوته بضيفه، ومجاذبته له أطراف
الحديث.
وقبّح
الله امرءاً صامتا، لم يصمت إلا ليخفي الأوحال التي اشتملت عليها عقله،
وليستطيع رصد أخطاء الآخرين، إذا سئل صمت وكأنه أرفع من أن يجيب، وإذا
تحدث كان كصاحب أبي حنيفة، وإذا دخلت بيته قتلك صمته، وذبحك كلامه... فما
عليك إلا الهرب.
.........................................
I cannot stop thinking about the
agnostic person I talked about in my previous updates... He used to
praise the Quran so often.. He used to quote phrases from the holy
Quran, indicating that it is the word of God.. & he said he used to
debate with people who did not believe in Islam & he always WON! How
come.. he himself.. does not follow any religion??? Now I understand
that when he used to debate with them, he did it just to win..... not
to let them convert.. & that's why.. he lost everything...
What really annoys is me is that he's
been always there for us encouraging us to speak ARABIC and cling to
our faith {religion} & cultural values... How could he ever encourage
us so willingly when he did not believe in what he said... He was not
convinced of what he said?! no it cannot be... He's so honest and
kind.. He does not LIE.. For as far as I could remember, he's been SO
SO HONEST... I do not understand his contradicted behavior at
all!!!!!!
I always wished that I was so smart like
him, for he's mashallah a smarty... He understands almost everything
in all sciences... But now, I thank God for who I am... I thank God
for the discerning mind I have. I do not need the kind of logic he
has..... What I have is so enough for me to survive & win.
اللهم
إني أعوذ بك أن أفهم من كتابك ما لا تريده، وما لا ترضاه، وما ليس في
كتابك من أجل هوى في نفسي......
اللهم
إني أعوذ بك من نفسي أن تغوي وتضل وتتبع هواها، وتخالف دينك باسم دينك
لتثبت للآخرين أنها على حق رغم ما هي عليه من باطل... اللهم إني أعوذ بك
وأسألك بأنك أنت الله، أن لا تحبط عملي.. فأدعو إلى نفسي وأنا أظن إنما
أدعو إليك! وأتجمل بالدعوة إلى الله وما ذلك إلا دعوة للنفس وحب للأنا
وهذا هو الهلاك.. وأي هلاك!