14|4|2003  8:11 PM  out of temper!!

As soon as I returned back home from school, I decided to spill it out here... I hate to live in a terrible mirage!! I also hate S-E-L-F-I-S-H ppl... Actually you're the one who lost a precious jewel! AND BE SURE OF SOMETHING! you'll never find me again... I once was in your hands.... You didn't preserve me... You didn't wrap me with the ribbon I deserved... You're such a fool! You don't know how it hurts a person when he/she remains in a horrible shock 4 more than two years!!! I once thought that you'd be the shoulders 2 count & cry on... I once thought that you'd be the source of healing my wounds... I once gave you my trust... How could you leave me struggling alone??? You were my air that I breathed... You were my rainbow that I always wanted to achieve... You were my EVERYTHING!! I once was a brilliant rose which allowed u 2 absorb her shiny pure color... 

how did u reward me??? What was my gift??? You stabbed me in the back with a poisoned thorn... you stopped watering me with your water of love... & then.. u threw me away in desolate place... the rose didn't die... but the wound is still bleeding... and she just lost her self-esteem... She just lost her bright color & turned out pale... she just couldn't sleep well...

But living in a desolate place without the water, friends, family that I needed taught me not to lose hope... Because God was watching me from above... He refreshed my soul... I never lost faith in him... I started 2 gain my self-confidence... so now come to see that desolate place... You'll open your mouth wildly... Yes I was simply happy when u were around... but now... U can see so many colorful roses  embracing me & settling around me... I'm a rose of a wonderful odor now... & my color is nicer than before... You can smell my odor from miles away... But u can never reach me again! For my place is just for the pure, clean, honest, wholehearted, loyal, faithful ppl... we don't need hypocrites! We don't need liars... we don't need deceivers...

And you!! I feel pity over you... & I wish you'd be more faithful... I wish you'd be able to choose the right path... I'll always pray 4 you... I'll never hate sick ppl...

Those kinds of selfish ppl (who don't care of the ones who love them) are either sick or (7ananless) as I call them... I'll see how you'll live your life happily without me... I'll see how you'll face the obstacles without me... I'll see how you'll endure life with such bad friends...

مثل لنفسك أيها المغرور يوم القيامة والسماء تمور... إذ كورت شمس النهار وأدنيت حتى على روس العباد تسير... وإذا الوحوش لدى القيامة أحضرت.. فتقول للأملاك أين نسير؟

فيقال سيروا تشهدون فضائحا وعجائبا قد أحضرت وأمور

وإذا الجحيم تسعرت نيرانها.. فلها على أهل الذنبوب زفير.. وإذا الجنان تزخرفت وتزينت لفتى على طول البـــــــــــــلاء صبور

وإذا الجنين بأمه متعلق.. يخشى القصاص وقلبه مذعور.. هذا بلاذنب يخاف لهوله.. كيف المصر على الذنوب دهور؟

wanna hear it?

11|4|2003  12:31 AM  Imagining... & wish if u were there!

This heart is whining inside... has no clue about how 2 help himself... your love keeps me up every night... whenever I walk in the crowd alone, I bow my head and shed a tear, for your vision is still there.. I feel that u r walking away from me... but suddenly u stop... u turn back... & then you gaze at me & draw a shiny smile on your face 2 dry my tears... 2 tell me that we'll never be apart... yeah yeah we'll never  be apart!!!

Late @ night I walk alone in the dark... I look up @ the sky... I see a glaring moon... I see you inside, sending your whispers to heal my wounds... assuring me that I'll follow you soon... yeah yeah I'll follow you soon!!!

As I walk on the beach barefooted... as the fresh breeze plays with my hair softly.. as I hear the sea gull's sounds... As I follow your Footprints... as u take my hand & walk beside me... As I feel your warm touch *squeezing*... as you sustain me with an unspoken language... I rise my head &  feel a special new ray of hope... yeah yeah there'll be a new ray of hope!!

why do I feel that you're my angel? why do I feel that you're my only light in this dark room??? why do I need to see your smile & u only brought me pain??? why do I love your name & u just hate mine? why do I always write about you & you never mention that you still care??? why can't I ignore you??? why everything turned out wrong? "I LOVE YOU" <- doesn't it mean anything to you???

8|4|2003  4:51 PM

" It might be someone's password... got it? " LOOL I really burst out laughing... I couldn't sleep well that night!! How did it happen?? Hmmm!! sorry for annoying ya late @ night!

You know why I hate growing up? 1. It's simply because I feel that the precious ones choose their own path and leave me all alone behind... 2 or 3 years more... & I'll be completely alone & miserable... well... how will I escape?   it's impossible to escape alone! I'm a gurl.. I can't run away alone!..

Memory, my dear (H), is the diary we all carry about with us... Death can not kill what never dies. Nor can spirits ever be divided, that love & live in the same divine principle, the root & record, of their friendship. Death is but crossing the world as friends do the seas, they live in one another still... This is the comfort of friends, that though they may be said to die, yet their friendship & society are, in the best sense, ever present because immortal. I'll never forget that day when u came over here with your sis.. ekeke.. I added egg + coffee in her juice!! I don't know why I was so dumb!! how did u allow that? lool.. I'll never do it again (7alaam) + so you'll will get married soon... owaa owaa owaa (S) I hate you!!! owaa owaa owaa owaa... lala I'm just kidding... Finally, I want to see my friend lives her life happily...

Everyone left me alOne! laish inzain? I've never been anything but kind with all of u!! but it's our destiny!! It's not within our hands... allah kareem

2. Besides, the wound grows up with me... I can't bear being apart from them... & I know that someday.. something bad will happen to me because of them... Hmm (Allah ysaam7ech yaa 3ajeeja umm ree7a)! I miss you I miss you I misss yooooooooooooooooooou!!!

 

1|4|2003  3:02 PM

March had passed... it's a new month... I'm here sitting on my comfortable chair... engrossed in my own thoughts... I still feel your love inside of me... It's endless... You touched my soul, stole my heart... You forgot me... You forgot that I was your only water of love... How can you live happily without my pure water? How can I live without you? I'm alone... Whenever I cry... Whenever I feel hurt... I remember you.. I imagine you sustaining my hopes... healing my wounds with your touch... I forgot that you're the main source of my pains... I forgot that you deceived me... Why? What had I done 2 reward me like this harsh way? How can you sleep & you know that there's someone staying up @ night praying & shedding tears for you? I wish I hadn't known you.. I wish my eyes never met yours... I wish you were an illusion 4 your love is a mirage & that's killing me... You shocked me.. You put me in so many embarrassing situations! You remained careless in times I needed u... You should bear with me a little... Finally... I still love you.. I'll never forget you no matter what happens... My love spreads HOPE in my soul... I hope it means something for you... You'll always be my precious one...

                                             ...................

Not hating even the direst of enemies...

Pals, I'm puzzled... lately, I've found out that there r some ppl... who r still hating and still thinking of taking their revenge from their own sisters/brothers... just because of something had happened in the past!!! they'll do anything 2 stain their sisters/brothers' reputations!! they r blabbering and talking behind their backs! If they could kill... they would never hesitate... we're sisters & brothers in ISLAM... We're humans... we make mistakes sometimes... we should forgive... "mob wagteh"... We should not fight because of the ridiculous problems & forget that Iraqi ppl are suffering... They need our prayers in their hard task...

At the battle of Uhud, the prophet "9allah allah 3alaih wo sallam" had his teeth broken by a stone thrown at him by one of the enemy, & blood streamed from his mouth. Some of the companions urged the prophet to curse these enemies who wrought such havoc. (Among the many companions who died in the battle was the Prophet's own uncle, Hamzah.) The prophet "3alaih e99alaat wessalam" response to this was: "I have not been sent as a curser. I have been sent as a preacher & the bearer of God's mercy."

Check this thread...

And these are some shots which I snapped lately..

Keyboard dabdoob =)

Rainbow