19|5|2005 4:00 PM
There's a lot to remember... a lot to forget...
You were so little by the time you
dragged your precious into the ocean of love =) thinking innocently
that you would be able to maintain that special kind of happiness
forever... You've built a strong wall around you and your beloved to
avoid letting water penetrate your life... You struggled a lot to give
them all that they need... You faced the world and fought with all you
could just to show them how dear they were...
And then one day you woke up alone to
see a big gap in the center of the wall you've built... You realized
that your precious did it and then escaped to the life of MOLD leaving
you alone to drown...
Tears fill your eyes and your heart stop
beating even before being completely drown...
............................
You know..
Some people are lucky enough to be loved
by so many when they deserve nothing but hatred and spite.. It was
fated and meant to be... It was inevitable from the moment it started...
So you shouldn't have blamed yourself.. You couldn't control it or
think properly... You gave a lot and you were completely blind...
I wish you were here to see how they're
suffering without you... They stay up late every night just to recall
the memories of you... They miss the reflection of themselves in your
brooding eyes.. They miss your craziness the most... They miss your
sweet gentle voice which was just like a powerful healing therapy for
treating depression...
I remember how you were trying to forget
about your pain by helping others and trying to show them the meaning
of life... I remember it when you used to say:
إلى الخيرات أسعى كل
وقت لعل الله يغفر سيئاتي.. فألهمني إلهي الرشد دوما وأكرمني بفعل
الواجبات
Sometimes we test our hearts to be sure
whether or not LOVE is still settled there... It is amazing how
it never fades away... Despite all the pain it brought, you still
smile when you remember how it meant the world to you when you were
around the most precious one...
we can change our attitudes and the way
we react and talk.. we can change our hair-styles and body shapes, but
can we change our emotions just because we want to do so?
............................
DIVERTING
Have you ever tasted this? it's so
delicious :)
Chobit is a cute persecome =)
;)
Enough for the day :)
14|5|2005 1:42 PMI
was thinking of you...
Yesterday I had an amazing time with my
brother and lil sis =) and today I feel extremely lost... The only
thing which makes me feel good is being Muslim... :') yesterday I had
a wonderful time, but my mind was busy with something else. I heard a
lot of stories about how some people converted to Islam just for a
mundane reason, but as soon as their reason fades away they start to
follow a path that has no duties for a specific religion! for example
they say: "we believe in God, but we're not Muslims nor Christians"!
and they give examples of how Aristotle and Solon were so great
and they weren't following Islam, Judaism or Christianity..
Message to you..
The problem is that you're not
ordinary.. and the way you think and analyze things is amazingggggg...
and you're good and YOU don't lie! what's the use?? tell me what's the
use? You don't even feel the purpose of living..
I can understand that you went through a
tough time and you lost your precious ones, but this is your fate and
we are here to suffer, but what's more important is to be smarter than
you are now!! If everyone keeps on saying "I'm not following a
specific religion, but I do believe in God" why would God create hell
and heaven?? Why would he send prophets to spread his religions? Maybe
God wants you to understand something! that's why he took those who
meant the world to you... Dear, you loved them so much and there's no
harm in loving, but was God on your top list?? or your precious ones
were all your life?
In Islam, when we love.. we LOVE in
God.. for example, I love a specific person in God...
love can't be true if it's not bound
with something eternal... and "we" people are mortal.. so when you
love someone mortal without founding it on something strong and
immortal, sooner or later that kind of love will disappear...only God
is immortal. Love has another meaning when you bind it with faith...
and not any faith.. It's your duty to find the righteous truth...
13|5|2005 4:12 PMHopefully
Optimistic
=) I'm lazy, but once I'm pushed by
someone I desperately cherish I do amazing things... Hopefully, we'll
be done soon and SUMMER HOLIDAY is approaching...
Today I'm gonna talk about a lot of
things =)
1) Our teacher said that laptops and
internet keep the person away from the social life.. and I AGREEEED!
Internet has become the main source of spending most of our leisure
time especially for those who don't like shopping malls that much.
what do you think?
2) Have you ever felt that you have a
negative power and you start asking people not to come near you? and
whenever you touch something it's either broken by you or something
bad happens to it? It's something very weird... negative electric
waves come out of your body and it starts spreading very quickly.. {oh
I'm not gonna say what I've broken} more than 3 items per day and one
gurl was hit by the electronic door because she was walking with me..
3) Tell me something... are you being
connected to dreams? and how? Have you ever been inspired by dreams?
do you want to know the most silly dream I've ever dreamt? Once
miracle was dreaming of a new creative idea of snapping shots with a
digital camera... In her dream, she brought her laptop and opened the
cd rom and then she brought a chicken burger and put it inside the cd
rom instead of putting a cd... And by the time she was awake from her
dream, her maid knocked the door bringing her a chicken burger in real
life... And when miracle was looking around her bed she saw nothing
but her laptop and digital cam... so she started thinking of doing the
same thing as it was in her dream.. she switched on the laptop then
put the burger inside the cd rom.. after that she snapped a blurry
shot of the chicken burger..
I once dreamt of solving long problems
of physics.. they were new and very long...
4) A silly situation brought back the
old memory of my childhood and I spent two days silent and isolated
from the whole world... It was a situation with mum and it touched me
so bad...
5) And finally I visited my
family
and :
~ I saw my cousin samz... Yeppe
yaya yeppe yoh... It was such a relief... Man she made me so scared
when she asked me to have a private conversation with moi!! bas wallah
what you told me was silly OK.. those people won't leave me alone?
malat
~ I peeked inside my grandpa's
room hoping to see him on his desk reading a book or writing
something... but, he wasn't there... :'( And when my aunt mentioned
that me and samz stopped visiting him for 2 months or even more before
his final departure, I had a lump in my throat...
القلب لين اليوم ينقبض
كل ما اتيقن إنك رحلت.....
ذهب الذين إذا مررت
بدارهم... فاحت نسائم عطرهم تتبعثر
Message to my Uncle's wife (A),
I know you're busy with your little
crying one, but I hope you accepted the letter I wrote you.. And I
never lied about feelings... NEVER.. =) I really appreciate you and
feel that you're so close to my heart... :) inshallah inshallah
I'll compensate it in this holiday... I will spend more time with you
=)
:p I didn't ask them to raise their
hands
3aba666 :p
6) MOOD swings... I was thinking of
traveling this year, but now I wish to stay here... :)
7) Whenever I think of what happened
this year I feel depressed for some reasons... I wonder how it turned
out wrong... I wasn't escaping reality until I went through tough
times and I couldn't manage to let things get back to normal... And by
the time I was trying very hard to re-organize everything, I found
myself surrounded by EVILS... I believe everything in this world has a
reason, but still.... I feel so sad :(
8) The rest must be concealed... It can
only be known when the blazing fire burns the heart and tears start to
roll down the cheeks frequently...
