26th|MAY|2007  2:23 PM A heart was shattered into bits.. & one fell here & one fell there...

This is BABY MON MON.. She's 2 months old... I met her 2 days ago.. ^_^ she says (hi) to everyone.. I held her so close, & I still smell like babies..

Me & Scarlett were talking last night about MIWICLE when she was a baby... She said: "You were so unique.. You had eyes with a brilliant luster.." :P *Yes I am bragging right now* lol.. She continued: "When your mum was pregnant.. we were in America... You let your mum remain at the AL WASL hospital for 50 days before she had to give birth to you.. & after you came She stayed there for one more month... You were too small, weighing 2 KG only"

..............Once Upon A December...............

Born Sunday... At the dawn time.. and it was raining...

When I was 6 months old, mum wrote a poem about me, describing me & how she felt when I was looking at her... Mum says that I was merry... Always smiling, laughing, & searching for an unknown thing... I was not so calm. I used to love drawing on the walls and drawing on my feet... When I was 1 year and a half I used to love playing with the sand of the beach... I used to smudge myself with colors and yogurt... She says she used to let me smudge myself and play with colors, because she thought I was trying to express myself & express my freedom. When I got a lil bit older... say 3 years.. She worried about me a lot, because I appeared to be very possessive... I wanted everything for myself.. SO she started to prevent me from many things... It was then when she turned to be harsh... yet, I was so attached to her... I would always ask to comb her hair... ^_^ & I used to hug her so often.

My aunts, uncles, dad & grandparents spoiled me... I felt that mum changed and became strict, but she could not control my obsession... I was so curious and stubborn... & I did not show any interest to learn at school... I could barely go to school... I hated teachers so much. I hated something called "Discipline" The world was mine back then, & I refused to follow commands.. When I look at those pictures I miss myself so much. I wanna kiss and hold baby MIWI.. I wanna stroke her hair... I wanna talk with her & understand her... I wanna take her to TOYS R US, Magrudy, & Disney LAND.

I wanted to know everything in this world!

I loved the color pink so much.. I loved the shade of foshia... I loved "ANIMALS", but I was afraid of them. I remember that my heart used to sink to the floor whenever I saw a camel coming near... My favorite childhood friend (cousin F) was much braver than me & I guess I was feeling safe just by accompanying him............ He was a troublemaker though.

Things have seemed changed... but one thing is still the same.. in my heart you have remained....

Some people are telling me that I have changed so much... They say I am changed to the worse... Of course no body likes to hear that, but I know that I've changed... & I am not liking it, but am I blamed for it? I do not wanna give myself excuses, but.... It's been so hard on me to suddenly find myself lonely! Yup my friends are always with me, but... the love of some people cannot be replaced in a blink of an eye and I do miss them so much... Don't worry I am not SAD! :p I am content... I know that the fickle finger of fate works so strangely...

Anyway,

I think I will busy myself with UNI, because.... because and because.. you see, I have to abdicate my interests that revolve around READING AND BLOGGING.. I should focus a lil bit on my studies. Otherwise, I won't graduate! I think I need to come back to reality... I've been drifting myself into reveries for so long! :p

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