Miracle World.. ~ Never ever.. BORING world =)

23|8|2005 11:53 AM Smile an ever lasting smile (THE DAY OF SMILES)

When you don't avoid eye contact!

It's about 9:43 AM here... I'm typing this while leaving the luggage unprepared :p

Those who know me observed that I avoid eye contact a lot. This is something not so new. Just the other day I decided to walk without seeing those who are around. & life doesn't always turn out the way we plaaan.. To my surprise, not only did I see almost every stranger, but I also allowed eye contact.

@ the coffee shop.. A 45-50-old-year man was staring while sipping his vodka. I didn't bother coz I know myself if I had kept him in mind with his odd stares and all I would have felt sooo annoyed.

My sis B-flee ordered mash potato with mushrooms and yogurt and I ordered pasta with mushroom sauce. & my lil sis ordered hot chocolate and an apple pie. B-flee enjoyed her meal the most.. As usual she smashed the potato with her hands and ate so little. "this is something ordinary" she enjoys the look of food only.. when it comes to eating sheeeeeeee won't eat. She'd rather squeeze and smash everything. {sorry B-flee :p}

Anyways, back to the 45-50-year-old vodka man...

At last when he decided to leave, he drew a very wide smile on his face... IIIIIIIIIII froze coz I saw his teeth and it was a very wide smile and and I had to smile back and it was something ((Not so normal)). Then he stood up for a while.... I heard his laugh all of a sudden.. was he grinning or what?

I said: "ummeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh" as usual... I swear he was a scary citizen. I didn't know how to interpret his attitudes even though I like analyzing personalities. Was he happy? or making fun? or lol I didn't know. To me he was a stranger with different language, religion and culture.

Later on, me and my sis were searching for a shop named (pink)... Believe it or not, it was raining and we didn't take our umbrellas coz I enjoyed walking in the rain a lot. The rain was like a shower for us.. our clothes were so wet.. Maybe we looked so funny.. I was walking quickly & I couldn't open my eyes properly and suddenly I heard: "Do u want our umbrellas?" <= IN ARABIC When I looked into his eyes I knew he was local... He was smiling too. I ignored and kept on walking coz I considered it a flirt. & I heard him saying again "it's up to you.. it's for free after all"

That situation was so silly, but funny...

After that, I saw my classmate ;) & I felt so happy..

I saw a cute baby in his trolley.. I couldn't resist saying "MY love" in my native language which is Arabic and I couldn't avoid vouchsafing him one of my brilliant smiles. :) when his dad saw that secretive connection between me and his lil baby boy he smiled back too. :D

After a short while, I saw a lil girl walking alone.. & I smiled for her... To my surprise she called out for her mum just to tell her that I smiled for her... AND when her mum came to see me, she smiled back.

As if they were all saying goodbye to us. :) I felt so cheerful. THEY WERE GIVING ME SOME ENERGY.

URGENT: HEY BRB.. I will continue updating this later.. coz I really need to prepare my luggage..

BACK... it's 7:55 AM now... 24/8/2005

latest news: MIRACLE IS BACK SWEEET HOME ;) don't ask about the flight please. SOMETHING not so good happened & I felt it would happen, buttttttttt at last I can enjoy my pinky winky palace alone without being in noise.. &&&&&&&& I think I need to get ready for uni... I think I'm not so sure yet.. :p & there's not much time left.

I didn't wanna leave the rain... It was raining till the last moment we were there. I enjoyed walking at nights... It was something indescribable... family meetings were bright & we all had healthy conversations.

I LOVED their milk, bread and cheese too :P BUT "FIRST THINGS FIRST" we do have other priorities & tasks to fulfill...

I wished mn~dubai and Samz were with us. Their presence does change the atmosphere and they do have a special sense of humor that we always crave for... Inshallah we'll do it next year. I MISS YOU

I also missed bnt-el3am, Amoony I hope you're somewhere here, Shamma, her, UNKNOWN, FoFo, bnt edbai *I KNOW YOU'RE SO UPSET" sorry I think I have to explain, roo7 edbai I DIDN'T FORGET YOU & ALL THOSE WHO KNOW PRETTY WELL THAT THEY HAVE SPECIAL CORNERS IN MY HEART THAT WERE SAVED JUST FOR THEM. ;)

19|8|2005 2:24 PM Missed me? :p

Yesterday I went for shopping.. and it was pretty boringgg. I wanted to get funky t-shirts, but I couldn't find what I was looking for... Then I decided to have funky pencil cases instead :P Back to the old hypomania!!!

I wish I could enjoy that scene with u

YUMMY

SHEEP

Late at night me and the KIDS <= :p went alone to MacDonald's. we had to cross the underground station. It was around 1 AM. For the first time in my life my legs went numb and and they were almost frozen that I couldn't walk normally.. I wassssssssssss shivering and I could hear my heart's pulses... I don't like to seeeeeeee drunks... They get on my nervessssss!!

I was eager to meet some people... I was so happy when I saw them, butttttt they were silent..... something painful was striking their thoughts almost all the time. I had to remind them of something and they seemed so annoyed & they said something with agony: "DON'T remind me... I wanna live alone"... They thought I wouldn't be able to sense the tremble of their lips while sipping the tea... I could see the concealed tear as well...

That made me sooooooooooooo sad for them...

Anyways,

I thinkkkkkkkkkk I'll be in DUBAI SOON ;)

sorry for those who sent me emails. I couldn't check out this acount @miracle-girl.com because there was a slight problem in it.

Silver star, thanks for signing my bookie.

Amoony is back sweet home? ;) I can't wait to see you.

16|8|2005 6:34 PM My heart was splintering.. Tears were being shed like tap water... & words didn't come out of my mouth...

I've been trying very hard to forget something that made me lose touch with reality... Yesterday some thoughts rolled around my mind.. My heart sank to the floor when I recalled the memories of last year and how it went... I thought I could let it fade away & I actually did make it seem to be a nightmare or a bad illusion, buttt today they reminded me of themselves... They woke me up harshly and I felt so rueful... so it wasn't just an intuition that came across my mind before reminding me of themselves.

It stabbed me like a knife when I knew that those people didn't forget about it and they intended to ruin my happy moments... I just couldn't stop my tears from dropping...

For a second, I closed my eyes and saw Grandpa brushing away the tears, though they would always return! I opened my eyes and he was out of the sight... Pain was the only huge shelter which was surrounding me from everywhere...

I choked.....

I bowed my head...

and walked all alone sighing & whispering "it was all my fault"...

Latest news: one of my dear cousins is here :) he reminds me of my childhood... Inshallah we'll have fun... now I'm waiting for my most ELEGANT aunt to join us... she's been sorely missed... It's been so long since I last saw her...