24th|Aug|2008 10:09 PM (Dreams again)...

Yesterday he came..

Just to soothe my pain... :')

He was so happy...

I think I am quite happy now el7emdellah...

23rd|Aug|2008 1:09 AM

I remember that I used to listen to this song A LOT during his last days when he was among us, whirling around the rooms, flattering, teasing, and making me feel so happy...

As I listen to it again,

I come to realize that this particular song explains it alll..

....................

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face...
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes......
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there...

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Somedays I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
So I'm afraid to try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

By hurting you
 

I miss my brother so much.. Maybe I miss him much more than anyone who misses him right now... I miss him when I breathe... I miss him when I take a step to walk... I miss him when I utter a word which he created... I miss him when I read... Sometimes, when I look back and remember him, I feel that my heart has no beats without him... I have a lot of what I NEED to say about my bro... I am just shocked.. and frozen... I don't need anyone as much as I need him now...

I'll leave this topic aside for now... will come back to it later...

...................................

They say.. a friend is the one who stands with you during your sad and happy times... That's so true... & you should never take your friend for granted... You should never take anyone who truly loves you for granted.. I give chances a lot, but I don't spend much time on those who do not at least cherish me in return... I hope these words will someday be delivered to Shamma & Donald Duck...

Shamma & Donald Duck sold years of loyalty & real love with a very cheap price... I did not lose hope on Shamma though, but I won't try with her again...

& with regards to Donald Duck, just lemme say {3afani Allah} big time.. such a careless person.. such a heartless one who mastered the ART of lying...

Special thank you note goes to Soulmate (dxb girl), Amoony, Unknown, Mozart, Dimpli, Coral Mermaid or {Spring Blend}, Roqaya (The IT person), AlhanOf who sends Friday messages, Sara {The Egyptian Girl}... I love you all.. I love you and feel grateful for everything... I do appreciate the smallest acts of kindness you showed me...

16th|Aug|2008 2:56 PM

I'm currently reading a romantic novel titled Paradise by JUDITH McNAUGHT. wow... What to say?! It can't get better than this really.. If only I read it earlier!!! I am loving it... It's been 3 years since the day I purchased it along with Whitney My Love, & Once & Always. The reasons why I chose this bOok in particular was not because of the back-cover review...

Two reasons captured my heart:

1) I've been smitten by the title ever since the day I saw it...

2) I loved its cover especially because of De Luna (the moOn) & the mysterious purple color which descends and gives shades of pink... Some may find this cover is ordinary, but I, fell for it. Have you ever met a person who was known to many as a weirdo & a moron?! But you did not feel so from the very first sight of that person, & instead you were so attracted? & after years, your attraction manifested that feeling which revealed (to you ONLY) that he was not a weirdo, but rather, a very kind person? Yep, God gives such kind of deep insight to his faithful slaves... I felt the same with that cover of PARADISE... ^_^  The cover was appealing to me, & I felt that I'd love the story of the book.

A new cover was released, and the most prevalent color of it is violet with the shades of crimson... Wow, those two colors are very inspiring...

These bOoks will be my next reads... I find myself longing to read more books about MAGIC and SPELLS. The last one would be Harry Potter for sure.. lol, you know.. It's been 10 years since the moment I decided to buy the first 3 books of Harry Potter series... I did not like it back then, and I still don't like it much! But I am gunna force myself to give a try and then decide...

& this wonderful book was a dedication from Scarlett.. It's my plan to read during Ramadan... ^_^

14th|Aug|2008 12:30 PM A wonderful dream to start my day with...

Surprisingly, I saw him today.. I saw him in my dream... He was wearing a very white kandOora.. & he looked so handsome... his smile was so brilliant & breathtaking... I was so astonished by his beauty and manhOod...

He smiled & I smiled back...

He seemed so happy...

13th|Aug|2008 9:30 PM Fushigi Yugi

 cousin K's notes left for me 2 read...

As long as you love meeee... :D

Miracle WINGS.. I keep finding my NICKNAME everywhere

HEART LAND... <3

I was delighted by Fushigi Yugi's company.. In fact, I was extremely hooked up by the story... So nice for a little bit of change, but I am not a big fan of manga... Sometimes I like to be drifted off into a world of fantasy... It's like being away from reality for a while... My cousin K read the whole volumes before I did. It was so thoughtful and sweet of her to leave me some notes in some of the volumes... I was also fascinated by the smell of the dry roses she added in the bOx of which she kept the volumes in. (mwaaah mwaaah mwaaah).

Hmph, I always wonder why the JAPANESE chose a specific style for their manga characters? [ VERY LARGE EYES, nice and slender nose, slim and tall body]... This contradicts their real natural lOoks, doesn't it?

however, the characters are so cute...

And who knows! maybe the Japanese believed in THE LAW OF ATTRACTION, and acting upon dreams until they come true... These days I do find some JAPANESE with large eyes O_O... I don't know if it is natural or they had surgeries all over the area around their eyes. (OUCH).

Now I don't know what to read next?

I want a novel...

But I don't know what genre I shall think of!

It's a matter of my fickle mooooooood..

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