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27|2|2005
8:42 PM
DEDICATED TO MUM.
READ IT FROM THE
START TILL THE END.. OR DON'T READ ANYTHING.. Just enjoy looking at
the pix
Don't forget to
turn up the volume.
These are not short poems, nor simple
words.... These are feelings bound with LOVE. Yet, it's MIWICLE's
imagination. =)
BAck in Berlin.
Pics were taken by aunt and her husband!
=) enjoy my latest update...
It was pretty cold outside, but I
couldn't resist sitting in my balcony even though I didn't want to
catch a flu. I brought my pinky winky jacket that was made of
budge.... There I sat on my bench shivering...taking a sip of hot
tea.... Contemplating the white trees, houses, and roads....
Drifting off into a reverie, for I loved
catching glimpses of his memory... I remember walking together on that
road... "what an empty place it has come to be".... I was searching
for his vision in each spot... Yet he didn't show up to strengthen
that hope...
Now mother please don't ask why on
earth I was outside my room in such a snowy day, for sickness is my
permanent guest and I can bear it anyway... You have no idea about how
I missed my sun which used to rise on so many mornings.. O mother, I
missed that special kind of warmth... It was one of the world's most
unique blessings to have a person who could add so much pleasure to
all my days.. hugging me at times when everyone seemed so engrossed in
life... And believe that I could give all my life and do anything just to be in his
lap and hear the sound of his heart's beats once again... He loved me
tremendously and his actions spoke nothing but the truth... He colored
my life with hope and ambitions that helped me walk on the right
path... O mum, I miss his presence :'( How am I supposed to feel after
being embraced with his passion for so long??
I still don't wanna talk about that
special kind of love! It's supposed to be secretive, but I thought of
relieving you..
Concealing allll that love took his soul
to the life of eternity, leaving me with people who never knew how to
cherish sincerity... yet, he's always inside me, warm within my
heart... surrounding my own world to take my soul far away from this
mold..
"mum, forgive me please... I should have
listened to you when you asked me not to walk in the rain, but please
don't blame me.. It was one of the happiest moments of recalling the
old days... Now that my soul is preparing to fly... please don't blame
your little child... could you ever imagine a sky without stars..
flowers with no colors?? Birds without chirp? dawn without the
diffused light of twilight appearing after it?
or YOU WITHOUT YOUR SOUL MATE? I know it's so tough when you enter my
room and see my pictures from the day I was born till the day I
graduated hanging on walls... And when you see my heart-shaped
tokens
you realize why I was head-over-heels in love with such objects...
Of course you noticed why I was hiding
away and resisting family meetings in the last couple of months..
didn't you? I couldn't hide those tears which were filling my eyes....
surely, you remember the moment you saw
the words I've written inside THE NOVEL OF "a walk to remember".. Sorry
for lying at you that day... What you felt was so true!
It hurts so much when you go through
what I've been through... losing the precious ones, then receiving
shocks from people who are so dear to me... After that Starting to
make mistakes that made me regret and stay up late every night... and finally,
seeing my friends suffering and repeating my story......
I was keeping all that inside of me.....
I was struggling alone...
O mother...
I love you and I'm going to miss your
radiant smile the most.
Kiss my lil sisters and tell them that
miwicle loves them, and if they ever need me around.. let them pray for me..
and I'll visit them in dreams..
and always always and always... See me
in this child and you'll remember your lil miwicle when she used to
say "cewelac, aybad, okakaaaleee..."
It started with fever... and it ended
with fever.
Gone........
Let them speak..
:)
=)
Hiyaaaaaaa
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